Thursday, November 8, 2007

Golf and the Art of War

Did you know that golf is part of our national defense? If not, join the (country) club. I didn't either.

Thank goodness we have Democrat House Majority Whip James Clyburn S.C. to set us straight. He earmarked $3 million in the 2008 Military spending bill for a program that attracts children to the game of golf.

I get it. Never mind buying something like body armor. As part of our defense strategy, we need to teach kids how to hit golf balls. Why? Because we have a secret program to develop golf-ball size grenades. When these kids grow up and join the military they'll be able to hit those suckers 300 yards like Tiger Woods. The enemy won't know what hit them, having thought they were facing a bunch of guys who got lost on the way to the country club.

Of course we'll have to train these "driving demons" not to yell "fore" when they tee off.

Sigh. Seriously ... I know that this kind of waste isn't unusual ... in fact it's "par for the course."

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

American Royalty

If the Hildabeast, a.k.a. Hillary Clinton, wins the Presidency you'll probably feel the ground move. It'll be our Founding Fathers turning over in their graves. Not because a woman is President, although that would have astounded them, nor the fact that an incompetent had taken office -- they would have expected that.

No, what would really distress them is that two families had held the Presidency for 24 consecutive years between them. And Mrs. Clinton could stretch it to 28 years with a second term. This is the kind of European-style dynasty they despised. They had done all they could devising a constitution that would prevent such power grabbing. Our first President (that's George Washington for all of you who attended government schools) was highly attuned to this danger. That's why he turned down the opportunity of being elected President for life. And that's why he turned down a third term -- to avoid an imperial Presidency. He had just fought a war to get rid of a kings rule, he didn't want to be the first American monarch.

That wouldn't bother today's politicians. Roosevelt didn't mind ignoring Washington's example and going for a third term. Probably would have gone for a fourth if he had lived. And can you imagine either of the Bush or Clinton clans turning down additional years in power? Hell, when they can't extend their reign of power themselves they hand it down to their children (George W.) or their spouse (Mrs. Bill Clinton.)

And we, stupid saps that we are, let them do it! Can't wait to see Chelsy Clinton sworn in.

The King is dead. Long live the King! ... not!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Gosh I Miss Wetbacks!

Way back "when," there were people called Wetbacks. Some considered that a rude term, but I always thought it was kinda neat. It brought to mind hardworking, determined people who waded across the Rio Grande to pick some produce, make some badly needed money, and then go home.

Now we have a different group. At first they were called illegal aliens. They were called that because that's what they were -- aliens who were here illegally. No Green Card, no Passport ... no nothing. But then the terminally sensitive among us decided that alien was too harsh, so they became illegal immigrants. That's so much better. After all, we're a nation of immigrants. So who could dislike immigrants?

But then after a bit more thought the squeamish thought, gosh, that term illegal is "hurtful.' Lets say they're undocumented. Sure, the fact that they're undocumented means they're illegal, but undocumented softens it so much, doesn't it? So this group went from illegal aliens to undocumented immigrants in about a blink of the eye.

And with that softening of the truth about what they are, our treatment softened too. From wetbacks who tried to stay under the radar, they became a group who demanded and got welfare, drivers licenses, tuition costs the same as citizens, on and on.

Why did this happen? Because the spineless politicians of both Parties care more about getting elected than about the welfare of the country. Curry favor with the millions of "undocumented immigrants" and you'll get more votes and keep your sorry kiester in power.

Some estimate that there are over thirty million illegal aliens, there I've said it, illegal aliens. And more are coming. They refer to the Southwest as the Northern Mexican Republic, and they mean to have it! I think they eventually will.

P.S. --- Si puede leer esto, mu├ęstreme sus papeles.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

To Pee, or Not to Pee ...?

More precisely, to pee in the men's room, or in the women's ... that's the question!

That's right. Seems like choosing the correct restroom is an urgent question these days among some of our college "elite." They can't figure it out! Or at least, as one advocate said, "It can be an anxiety-ridden decision to make a choice that most people make without thinking."

"Without thinking" -- indeed! How much thought do you give which restroom to go in? Even a six year old child has that decision nailed. Jeez Louise! Do we have to make a big deal out of everything!? Bathroom-decision anxiety for Pete's sake!

Seems like the problem centers around some people who say they are trans gendered. (Not that here's anything wrong with that.)

I guess trans gendered means they go back and forth, hither and yon, on the simple question of what sex they are. And to lessen the anxiety among these poor confused people, at least 141 schools have established gender-neutral restrooms.

Now I don't know how to help these tragically confused people pass Biology 101. But here's a simple tip to guide you into the correct bathroom. If you're gonna sit, go into the ladies' room. If you're gonna point, go into the men's.

What a relief ... ahhhh!

Friday, November 2, 2007

Deer in Headlights

Looks like one doesn't she? But of course you know it's Speaker of the House Nancy Pelossi describing her I.Q.

Actually she's saying that Congress' approval rating of 22 percent is not her fault. Different tune from back in January when she was full of vinegar saying that the Democrat Majority was gonna change the country! Gonna put it back on the right track!

Now she says, "if I were polled, I would disapprove of Congress as well." Although she does seem a little confused on this point because just a little later she said, "I'm proud of what we have done."

You know, sometimes it's hard to keep from tripping over all the talking-points your staff feeds you. Gets confusing ... proud, disapprove ... whatever.

She seems well acquainted with a plastic surgeon. Maybe next time around he can give her reputation a face lift.


Thursday, November 1, 2007

Texters are I-d-i-o-t-s

What's with this texting nonsense? It's just another of those brainless fads kids adopt out of fear their dopey peers will think they're "uncool" if they don't join in. They'd sooner wear a ball cap with the bill forward (Gasp!) than not join the "flying finger fools."

Imagine that the first cellphones wouldn't work with voice ... you had to type on little keyboards. What a pain in the ass! Imagine how happy everyone would have been when (finally!) you could just talk into the damn thing! So why go back to that now?

Hey, if people like going backwards with technology, maybe they'll trade in their cars for the horse and buggy. At least then we'll understand where all the horse shit is coming from!